Surrendering Frailty

artwork by Frederic Edwin Church

Laying under the stars somehow absolves me of all doubts about life. I spent countless nights as a child laying in a cold field gazing up at the sky. I can still recall the surrender my soul always had, a releasing of practically everything frail. That same feeling I would have countless times on stage. Releasing myself to a song, and an audience, to the spiritual act of singing, and what it made me. Release. What a gift.
Tonight as I watched the stars in the heavens dance I knew no doubts. I know that my life will be as it should be. I know that I will be what I am made to be. I felt that surrender. I'm reminded that we are all spirit, our bodies will fade, and wither, and eventually return to dust, but our spirits will live on...Forever.
Tomorrow I enter my third decade of life. I know we don't understand time, that it's a continuum, a whole. Our concept of it biased by our knowledge of the orders of the universe, by existential reasoning. I may NEVER understand it fully, but I do understand that there is providence. I was simply placed within this moment, within these hours for some purpose, but it does not end here just as it did not begin here.

An Allegory from a Cave

artwork found in the Lascaux caves

What is a prison had become my home. I, not realizing I was imprisoned, was comforted by the walls, by the chains.
The heavy shackles were as golden bracelets. The cold loneliness became my friend, an ally. The shadows were the forms of gods and men, giants and angels, heros, and soldiers.
But a sliver of light broke into that darkness, and slowly I crawled along the dampened ground. Someone unshackled my propitious chains, and for a time I knew fear.
However, I have come to know the shadows for what they are. Darkness. Reflections. But not truth.